Behind the curve...

Suddenly you look up and see your fellow just4kick runners have posted again and you're the odd-ball out. #Iwillnotfallbehind.

That weekend everyone has mentioned so far when all of us had to solo run: I was at an Alpha Delta Pi leadership conference in Atlanta, GA. Fantastic because I haven't been able to participate in three years (I'm usually in France for work all spring). Awful because it's long, exhausting and I knew I had to get myself up extra early (it's Eastern time over there, folks) to run five.long.miles.ALONE.

I too, had only prepared for 50s weather, it was almost freezing, so to the treadmill I headed. Surprisingly there were several other women getting their exercise on that early in the morning sorority girls...I was lucky to find a free treadmill.

A TV! Well this ought to help the time go by, yes?

No! I quickly learned:

1. Treadmills are awful
2. Gyms - or perhaps just this one in general - make me claustrophobic
3. TVs mounted to a treadmill make me feel trapped, I like to see what's in front of me - even if it's just a mirror, there's that whole time-continuum thing that makes the room "feel" larger, right?
4. You can't naturally control your speed, having to think and move your hand to the controls to slow down or speed up your pace takes energy I'd rather spend on just running
5. There's no wind! Not even the fake kind that comes out of some machines, it got real hot, real fast
6. Nothing changes. BORING!

I started feeling dizzy at mile 4. When the spots started forming in the air around me at 4.5 I stopped to walk it off and didn't last long at that. I needed to sit down quickly and headed to the restroom. 

I failed at 5 that morning. It wasn't for lack of nourishment, but I might have over-carb-loaded the evening before on free bread before my over-priced-and-incredibly-small spinach salad I hate spending money I don't have at conferences.

I realized when I finally made it to the restroom that my shirt was on backwards...could it have contributed to my feeling trapped? And also explain why ladies kept looking at me as they walked behind me?

Overall I gave it my best shot, but did NOT like running without my girls, on that machine. 

Since that horrendous solo experience which I've gathered none of us enjoyed:

We ran four miles outside, on a somewhat hilly route Tuesday morning. Thanks to Samantha talking me through the last mile, I finished at a pace I'm proud of. But I hated it and would not have done what I did without her encouraging me. And I can't help but think I'm behind the curve and will forever be no matter how much training I put myself through - it's painful before, during and immediately after. I start with the group, but then after mile 2 I start to fall behind, and it feels physically impossible for me to keep pace either that or my friends are speeding up, grrrr.

This afternoon we're meeting to run 3 miles on the trace - it was too rainy this morning to go. JUST THREE. Staci said to me, "our goal is to finish under 30 Jess, we can do it". She can do it, I know, and I'll give it my best shot. And then we have to go to dance practice don't ask. 

I will say this, echoing Toni's reflections: the rest of the 23 hours in my day on training days, I feel great...and for that I'll keep on keeping on. 

I also think it will help come race day to have a t-shirt with my name printed on the front for the crowd to cheer me on - great idea Samantha!